I'm Sooo Done with it all

My thoughts on love:

Darkness, heart ripped out and stepped on, black holes, dark abyss, cloudy day after cloudy day, after cloudy day, emptiness, loneliness, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness, dreariness, tears, black clothes to show my mourning, no plans, no fun, no hugs, no dates, no life.

Oh the agony, oh the pain, oh the heart wrenching, oh the devastation.







OH YES, I AM FEELING SOOOOO UNLUCKY IN LOVE....

You love her, but she loves him,
and he loves somebody else -
You just can't win.
And so it goes until the day you die.
This thing they call love,
its gonna make you cry.

I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks.
One thing's for sure...

Love stinks
Love stinks...yeah yeah...
Love stinks!
Love stinks! Yeah yeah...
Love Stinks
Love stinks! Yeah yeah...

two by two and side by side
love's gonna find you yes it is
you just can't hide
you'll hear it call
your heart will fall
then love will fly
it's gone that's all!

i don't care puttin a cap on those things
all i can say is...

Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea

I been through diamonds
I been through minx
I been through long

Love stinks
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea...

(scene fades and me in a corner alone)

Dating Mutations

Just thought that this should go on the dating blog. Something is wrong here....

Til further notice

Sorry everyone. My dating life has been pretty, dare I say... Normal the last few months. It's crazy and astonishing I know. So until further notice I have no real doozies for any posts.
Unless of course someone has any they would like to share.

This is what I'm talking about

Finally! A story written by someone other than me....This one is great. I love it!

So my sister called me a few days ago and she said, "Alicia, why don't you just marry ____?" After listing the reasons why that wouldn't be such a great idea she says "Well, you just need to get married so you can have babies." OK so I know that most of you single people out there have heard this from some well meaning family member or friend. Also Cate just had a baby 4 months ago and now that the memory of the pain has subsided she wants me to have this life changing experience. For most people the issue would be resolved right there. Well, Cate doesn't give up that easily apparently. She called me a few nights later and she said, "I found your husband." I guess she was looking around on Facebook and she found a guy that I had been in Sunday school class with from ages 12-18. She decided to email him and here is how she decided to go about arranging our marriage…

Cate- I need a favor...It is really no big deal at all...you don't need to move a couch or anything if you are not really dating anyone right now could you please marry my sister...she is nice and she will learn to cook in time.
Think it over...no big whoop.
I will wash your car for you as a pay back...
Later,
Cate

J--- Well, let me get this straight...you'll wash my car, but will you vacuum out the inside too? That gets really dirty.
J---
PS...which sister are we talking about?

Cate- listen...i will shampoo...vacuum and polish the leather interior which I am sure you have since you are a baller. Hook it up bro,
Cate
PS...Alicia is the foxy lady I am refering to. Enjoy

This would probably mortify some of you out there but I am over it and you just need to know my sister. The thing is that this story continues. No joke, 45 minutes later I get a call from my good friend Marla. She says, "Alicia I found your husband." I asked her if she has been talking to Cate. She said "No, why?" She goes on to tell me why this other guy is perfect for me.

If only it was that easy! Well I guess I just need to be grateful that I have people looking out for me, and a sister that is such a crack-up! I hope that you are all as lucky as I am. ;)

The Golden Prayer

Sorry folks you get another one from the vault. I wish I could get some of your funny stories because I know that would up my pool of funny dating experiences/ funny things people say to you to help you in your dating life, but until that happens, I will continue to draw upon my own experiences that are diminishing as I use more and more of them. But here is a good one. Once when I was in college I had a roommate who made a goal to get married. She was very ambitious in her goal and at the end of April made her goal for August. Not just to get meet a guy but to meet a guy and get married in less that for months! Well I was a little skeptical about her goal but it made her happy and she went home for the summer with something to work towards. Well I think it was about the end of June or the beginning of July when she still hadn't found anyone, and then out of the blue when it seemed all was lost, she met him. The man of her dreams and they were engaged after like one date and one week of knowing each other. (I might be exaggerating a little but she really did pull off the August wedding). Of course this made her the expert on dating and if you just set a goal and pray about it, it will happen. We talked on the phone several times that summer and soon she was telling us how wonderfully her plan had worked and that we really should try it. One day, however, she offered me a remarkable service, a offering I will never forget, she said SHE would start to pray for me. Wow! Thanks! I thought, if you pray for me I might finally get married. You have the GOLDEN prayers, the ones that get answered whereas mine are just the mediocre, not really heard or answered kind, the ones that just get laughed at and thrown aside. I told her of course she could pray for me, (especially if she was going to use her magic prayers) Well now nearly seven years later I still have the traditional goal that THIS August will be the one and that golden prayer will finally be answered. I really did appreciate her concern and care for me I just really have enjoyed calling her prayer golden. We all want the one with golden prayers to pray for us right. I just should have been specific in telling her which years August....

The Handsome Nephite

So I promised this a few weeks ago and finally it's time to share the inspiring story of one of the three Nephites who saved the day during that awful, awful non-date. It's kind of a second half of the to-be-continued....

Picture me there country dancing with Bob the Butt, that crisp September night two years ago. All the dreams I had been creating of the two of us falling in love and living happily ever after, dashed after finding out he was a complete knob. Well about 30 minutes before midnight, I went into the bathroom to get away from everything and regroup. I thought to myself, "I can't be here anymore, I need a miracle so I don't have to watch this dork and his failed attempts to flirt with these other girls. I need an out and I need it NOW."

That's when I saw him. I never would have believed it if it hadn't happened to me but there he was, the miracle I was praying for. He came up to me and asked me to dance. We danced not one song but four together, and then talked for several dances as well. He was tall and nice, very good looking, fun to talk to a great dancer and smelled really good on top of it all. I swear he was an angel sent there to help me in my time of need. I mean really he had to be, no normal guy would fit that description. The even crazier thing was that he just appeared out of nowhere. I know he hadn't been there before during the night and I never saw him after we danced and talked together. He was there for me. He didn't talk to or dance with any other girls. He was my saviour from the This-is-not-a-date-monster and I am super grateful he came to save me and to give me an amazing experience. Who needs the non-dater when I have my own angel.

This is NOT a date

So here is my question. Why are people so worried about something being called a date? I had a roommate who unless she really liked the guy she was going out with she would call it an outing. Are we afraid that if we call an outing a date that we will be actually showing that we are interested in someone???? Heaven forbid that we should actually want to show someone that we enjoy their company and want to get to know them better. Or even if we aren't interested why isn't it a date? I just don't understand...

As you can tell I have strong feelings about this. One summer I had two incidences where I wanted to pop the guy in the nose because he made sure I knew something wasn't a date. DUH!!! The first incident was mostly just a introduction to the cruel world where things appear to be dates when the person you are with snatches that dream away from you and tells you are a fool for thinking such a thing could actually happen. It's a cruel cruel world out there.

The second incident was one that has become a classic in my life to demonstrate how people can be complete idiots. A few years ago I had a crush on a guy, we'll call him Bob. Bob seemed like a really cool, good guy. Over the summer we had gotten to know each other and found ourselves seeing each other frequently and even talking on the phone occasionally. Well by September I was feeling like it was high time that Bob should ask me out. I just wanted to go out with him on a real date to see if there truly was an interest there. One day we were talking on the phone and it came up that he was going country dancing with his roommate that evening (well not "with" his roommate but with his roommate). He said they were going to try and see if they could get a few other people to go with them. I told him I would really like to join them because I really enjoy country dancing. Well the hour came in which we were supposed to leave to drive down. He showed up at my house and told me that his roommate had backed out on him and no one else was able to go, so it was just the two of us. Perfect, I thought. This was a great time to have Bob all to myself and actually get to know him. The ride down was pretty fun and we talked quite a bit. It was just casual and I was gaining more insight into him. I was actually beginning to see that maybe he wasn't the best match for me and that I shouldn't waste my time on him anymore. but we were about to spend a long evening together.

Well then we went into the dance and well let's just say that the rest of the night I was envisioning how I could trip him, kick him, and pinch him and make it all look like an accident. I ended up being his wing man. Hint: Guys..... girls don't like to be the wing men, especially when they have been crushing on you, so don't be a complete dufus and treat them like they are a girl worthy of your attention even if you aren't interested....

We danced a few songs together but most of the evening I watched as he flirted and asked other girls to dance. By then I didn't care that it wasn't me because I could see that he was a complete moron and I didn't want that anyway. Well then I had an experience in which I swear one of the 3 Nephites came to my rescue. It is a really sweet story and I'll have to write about that some other time but for now we are focusing on non-dates. Anyway as Bob the slob and I were leaving after staying there until the darn place had closed, he asked who the guy I had danced with was. Of course this was the miraculous story of the Nephite but I wasn't going to say anything about this to him so I said well I'm just glad he showed up because Bob wasn't paying any attention to me. That's when the infamous declaration came from him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, this was NOT a date", yeah, thanks Einstein. I figured that out a long time ago I thought but I really said, "Yeah, I know and if it had been one it would have been a really bad one." HA, in your face sucker! That little jibe was my virtual kick, and it felt good. He was taken aback when I said that and felt all insulted by my saying it but it felt good to get it out there. "Well" I said, "It's true, I wouldn't want to be on a date with someone who is out there hitting on other girls." I guess he took that for what it was worth and the rest of the ride home was pretty painful for both of us.

Why couldn't he just have been normal and cool about things? Whoa, whoa whoa this is NOT a date.... thank you so much for making me feel like a complete loser. I have since decided that he is gay and that he probably did want to go "with" his roommate instead of me. This has helped my self worth go up again, knowing it wasn't me it was him..... Dork!