Best Buy

I need to update my dating life. I mean really update it :) So I'm going to think of my greatest stories that have happened in the last year. A guy came up to me in Best Buy a while ago and asked if I needed any help. I did need help so I asked him thinking that he worked there. After about a minute of talking to him I realized that he was shopping also and was flirting with me. Oh the fun and excitement that could have been had if he had been normal. But alas he was not. He asked me if I would like to go to a bar sometime with him and play some pool. I told him I was dating someone (which was true) as a backed away from him and ducked behind the next aisle. I felt like running out of the store after that. But I just stayed out of his line of sight. Maybe I should have gone out with him.

It's all a bunch of Crap!

So it's back to online "dating" for me, more like online "looking". No offense but looking through the profiles and pictures makes me want to rip my hair out. Why can't there be a button or scroll down tab that gives you the option of
"yes I truly am normal" or
"I'm not hiding anything, I really am a good person" or
"I will not stalk you"
"I will be well worth getting to know"

instead, I swear they all have
"I'm a weirdo and so are you that's why we are both desperate enough to be on here tonight"
"I'm a player and the more dates I can rack up the better my chances of getting lucky"
"I'm miserable and so are you now for writing me and I won't write back"

Dating to me is like getting your impacted wisdom teeth pulled but online dating is like a strange, uncomfortable, annoying habit of sitting in front of the TV every night, alone, with nothing better to do and pulling your own wisdom teeth out without any anesthetic and expecting it to be "fun" and worth the pain. So far it hasn't been worth the pain.

All my dreams are coming true

I'm Sooo Done with it all

My thoughts on love:

Darkness, heart ripped out and stepped on, black holes, dark abyss, cloudy day after cloudy day, after cloudy day, emptiness, loneliness, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness, dreariness, tears, black clothes to show my mourning, no plans, no fun, no hugs, no dates, no life.

Oh the agony, oh the pain, oh the heart wrenching, oh the devastation.







OH YES, I AM FEELING SOOOOO UNLUCKY IN LOVE....

You love her, but she loves him,
and he loves somebody else -
You just can't win.
And so it goes until the day you die.
This thing they call love,
its gonna make you cry.

I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks.
One thing's for sure...

Love stinks
Love stinks...yeah yeah...
Love stinks!
Love stinks! Yeah yeah...
Love Stinks
Love stinks! Yeah yeah...

two by two and side by side
love's gonna find you yes it is
you just can't hide
you'll hear it call
your heart will fall
then love will fly
it's gone that's all!

i don't care puttin a cap on those things
all i can say is...

Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea

I been through diamonds
I been through minx
I been through long

Love stinks
Love stinks
Love stinks yea yea...

(scene fades and me in a corner alone)

Dating Mutations

Just thought that this should go on the dating blog. Something is wrong here....

Til further notice

Sorry everyone. My dating life has been pretty, dare I say... Normal the last few months. It's crazy and astonishing I know. So until further notice I have no real doozies for any posts.
Unless of course someone has any they would like to share.

This is what I'm talking about

Finally! A story written by someone other than me....This one is great. I love it!

So my sister called me a few days ago and she said, "Alicia, why don't you just marry ____?" After listing the reasons why that wouldn't be such a great idea she says "Well, you just need to get married so you can have babies." OK so I know that most of you single people out there have heard this from some well meaning family member or friend. Also Cate just had a baby 4 months ago and now that the memory of the pain has subsided she wants me to have this life changing experience. For most people the issue would be resolved right there. Well, Cate doesn't give up that easily apparently. She called me a few nights later and she said, "I found your husband." I guess she was looking around on Facebook and she found a guy that I had been in Sunday school class with from ages 12-18. She decided to email him and here is how she decided to go about arranging our marriage…

Cate- I need a favor...It is really no big deal at all...you don't need to move a couch or anything if you are not really dating anyone right now could you please marry my sister...she is nice and she will learn to cook in time.
Think it over...no big whoop.
I will wash your car for you as a pay back...
Later,
Cate

J--- Well, let me get this straight...you'll wash my car, but will you vacuum out the inside too? That gets really dirty.
J---
PS...which sister are we talking about?

Cate- listen...i will shampoo...vacuum and polish the leather interior which I am sure you have since you are a baller. Hook it up bro,
Cate
PS...Alicia is the foxy lady I am refering to. Enjoy

This would probably mortify some of you out there but I am over it and you just need to know my sister. The thing is that this story continues. No joke, 45 minutes later I get a call from my good friend Marla. She says, "Alicia I found your husband." I asked her if she has been talking to Cate. She said "No, why?" She goes on to tell me why this other guy is perfect for me.

If only it was that easy! Well I guess I just need to be grateful that I have people looking out for me, and a sister that is such a crack-up! I hope that you are all as lucky as I am. ;)